Karnataka’s New Bill: 100% Reservation on Thinking!

The third view: In a move that is sure to send shockwaves through the land of logic, Karnataka's latest reservation bill has declared a whopping 100 per cent reservation for C & D class jobs in private industries. Yes, you read that right—100%! It seems the state has taken the age-old adage of "go big or go home" to an entirely new, hilariously absurd level.

Brains on Reservation?

Now, I don’t know about you, but it seems that the folks drafting these bills could use a little reservation of their own—specifically, a reservation at the nearest brain bank! Imagine if our dear politicians had a quota system for intellect. Maybe a few more neurons could have been spared the axe during their policy-making sessions. After all, as they say, "Common sense is not so common" – a sentiment Voltaire would likely echo if he saw this bill.

The Cricket Quota Quandary

Let's take a moment to imagine our beloved Indian cricket team under a similar reservation system. Picture this: The team management announces that 100 per cent of the players for the next World Cup will be selected based on their hometown’s geographical representation rather than their ability to hit a century or bowl a maiden over. Suddenly, you have a wicketkeeper who’s never held a bat, an opening batsman whose only experience with balls is of the disco variety, and a bowler who thinks a "googly" is an internet search term.

The result? A cricket match that looks more like a comedy of errors than a contest of champions. Imagine the sheer joy of watching our team get bowled out for 30 runs in 5 overs. Maybe we could market it as a new form of reality TV—'Cricket Carnage: The Reservation Edition'.

Sports Gone Wild

And why stop at cricket? Let's extend this reservation madness to other sports. How about a football team where all players are chosen based on their shoe size? Or an Olympic swimming team where membership is determined by one's ability to float rather than swim? Gold medals would become relics of the past, and we’d become the global laughing stock of sports.

The Economic Implosion

On a more serious note, this 100 per cent reservation policy is the equivalent of throwing a wrench into the economic machinery of Karnataka. Companies thrive on merit, efficiency, and talent—none of which are guaranteed by such blanket reservations. Imagine if every state followed Karnataka's lead, engaging in a tit-for-tat reservation spree. Soon, we'd have entire industries filled with employees who are there by virtue of policy rather than proficiency.

The cumulative effect? An economy in free fall, where innovation and growth are strangled by the red tape of reservation. Instead of fostering inclusivity and equal opportunity, we'd be promoting mediocrity and inefficiency. Businesses would flee, investments would dry up, and Karnataka's dream of becoming a global tech hub would dissolve faster than a sugar cube in hot coffee.

Brain Drain Bonanza

Speaking of brains, let's talk about the brain drain. With such policies in place, it’s no wonder that some of our brightest minds are packing their bags and heading for the greener pastures of the USA and Europe. It's almost like we're running a sale on intellectual talent: “Buy one reservation, get one free visa to Silicon Valley!” If we keep this up, the only brains left in the country will be the ones still trying to understand these policies. As George Bernard Shaw aptly put it, "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." And apparently, he who cannot, also makes reservation policies.

Cabinet's Comedic Coup

The Cabinet meeting held yesterday approved this bill to make recruitment of 100 per cent Kannadigas mandatory for 'C and D' grade posts in all private industries in the state. Chief Minister Siddaramaiah proudly posted on social media platform X, expressing the government's wish that Kannadigas be given an opportunity to lead a comfortable life in their state and not be deprived of jobs in 'Kannada land'. While the sentiment is admirable, the execution feels more like a punchline to a bad joke. As they say in Bollywood, "Picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost!" (The movie isn’t over yet, my friend!)

A Call for Common Sense

So, what’s the takeaway here? While the idea of reservations is rooted in noble intentions, the execution of such policies requires a delicate balance. Blanket 100% reservations for any sector not only defy logic but also jeopardise the very fabric of meritocracy. We need to ensure that policies are designed to uplift without undermining the core principles of competence and capability.

Karnataka, it's time to rethink this bill. And voters, remember: if you elect those who think like Charlie Chaplin's tramp, you might just end up with policies that belong in a silent comedy. Let's reserve our brains for making better decisions at the ballot box and ensure that our future policies are driven by wisdom, not whimsical absurdity. As Winston Churchill once said, "However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results."